Carter is Home

Finally. It's been seven weeks today. A long time, but he came home today. He's gained over two pounds and has grown two inches while in the hospital.

I got to be there to take pictures of him getting dressed to come home, and we posed him, and propped him until he decided that he didn't like it. His little preemie outfits fit him so perfectly ... but he won't be wearing them long! It was a very scary feeling to disconnect him from all the wires at the hospital and dress him in his own little clothes.

A flood of emotions came rushing back to me ... and for just a moment I was so overwhelmed at the thought that I had brought three of these little ones home, all within seven days of each other, just three years ago. As I look back now, I'm not sure how I did it .... and there are still days that I don't know how I do it. But I do ...

Tomorrow I am going to go help Carter's Mother organize and rearrange a few things. We're going to spend the day getting to know Carter. Just me and Carter ... and Amy, his Mother. I feel this great need to draw closer to her, and to help her. I think she needs me and I want to be there for her. She is scared and overwhelmed, and needs a soft hand and some understanding. I want to be the one to help her, and I want to bridge a gap that's been hanging over our heads for some time. She has a Mother, but I need to be more to her than I have been, and I need to go home, for me and for Amy.

I'm looking forward to it. This will be the first of many days of me going home. I miss it. It's been a long three and a half years getting the kiddo's old enough that I can go by myself, either alone or with them. I feel like I've accomplished so much in the past few years, but I also feel like I've missed out so much with my older kids while getting the younger ones to this point. Freedom is just around the corner ... once Spring comes. My weekends will be in Illinois being Grandma and Mommy.

Tomorrow will be the first time since my babies were born over three years ago, that I will be leaving them for the entire day, alone, with their Daddy .... I know he can do it! I think. If not, and he has a rough day ... I know that they will all survive and sleep good tomorrow night. .... and him too! I've made arrangements for him to have a babysitter the two hours that he has to milk the cows in the evening .... then he'll pick up where he left off when he gets home.

I'm not even going to worry ... but I am going to hide the black permanent markers!

Be Blessed Everyone.